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A better rule: "Sexual chemistry is important, but you may not feel it initially," says Dr. "It can develop after you've known someone for a while." That said, adds Dr. " If you're truly not feeling it, it's better to let things go gently now rather than hang around waiting and hoping for a match to flare. Don't reveal your desire for children, a new career or any other life goal.It's mighty old-fashioned to be so demure with a new guy that you don't reveal your true wishes for what you want out of life.
If he's expecting you to move faster, ditch the pressure—and possibly him.There's a hilarious scene in the movie Sleepless in Seattle when Tom Hanks's character contemplates getting back into the dating game and wonders if the rules have changed.If that describes you, back in the saddle again after a hiatus, divorce or widowhood, know that yes, the rules have changed—and for the better.On the other hand, if you've been waiting and he's not quite there yet, it may be time to move on, since the two of you aren't quite in sync.The point is that rules don't help you figure out the right time to have sex––your own feelings and instincts do, says Dr. Photo: i Stockphoto This one, says Wendy Lyon, Ph D, psychologist and relationship coach, "is an old-fashioned rule that says he should be in charge and be the 'hunter.'" The idea is that if a woman takes the initiative, the man won't feel, well, manly.